counter argument edit

I want someone to professional edit the attached essay to be like the example below

This is the example I want my essay to be like.

Title: Tips to Help College Students During the COVID-19 Pandemic

Author: Dr. Caitlin Nevis


Dear Dr. Nevis,

After thoroughly reading your article, Tips to Help College Students During the COVID-19 Pandemic, I disagree with some of the tips you have given, based upon first-hand experiences with my peers. Your points come from a medical professional’s perspective and assume that college students understand the significance of the pandemic shut down. They do not take into account that many college students are not taking the pandemic seriously and are using it as a time to party and hang out with their peers.

Although, you state that this is a time where students must not use this as a time to party, that is in fact a reality of what many of my peers here in San Diego and throughout the country are doing. You state, “we encourage students to practice gratitude and to continue on, this situation is still a disruption.” Many students have not been using this as a time to practice gratitude as they have not recognized the severity of the situation and have not shown compassion towards those affected. Many of my friends have been having friends over every day to drink and have been increasingly neglecting their studies.

Secondly, another statement of yours that I believe does not hold true to the college student population is, “this is an isolating experience for students as a whole.” This may pertain to some students but not to thousands of college students who flooded the beaches of Florida and various other popular spring break destinations. You argue that college students are the ones who are the most resilient throughout these times but I believe college students have been the most reluctant to accept the gravity of the pandemic.

College students have been urged to stay at home after college campuses across the world closed down. However, college students have taken to social media platforms to advertise that they still are not taking the pandemic seriously and are demonstrating how this pandemic is not having a severe negative impact on their lives or mental health.

I believe your points are very educated but do not take into account a majority of college students who do not feel negatively impacted and do not feel the urgency of this pandemic. I do not agree with your statement of “college students need to see this as a time not to party,” when this is merely an educated suggestion and not backed up with information to enlighten students on why they should.